Unhealthy "health probes"

Recently enough I was troubleshooting a web performance issue for a customer (spoiler – there were multiple bottlenecks outside of Domino). One thing I thought I’d highlight, when turning on some debug parameters, Domino began throwing “SSL handshake errors”. Many of them. As in all the time.
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://dominopeople.ie/unhealthy-health-probes/